Already, I have come to realize that 2009 is moving quickly. Isn’t it true that we can so easily forget the here and now. I must have, since I forgot to post my January blog. Sorry ’bout that!

But, all jokes aside, the ongoing issue of how to stay in the “here and now” isn’t news to you, nor to any of us.

For example, many of my clients struggle with the “now,” especially when they have trauma. They often ask me “how am I supposed to be in the moment, but also work on traumas from my past?” It is a key question. Maybe you have asked this as well, or know someone who has…

My answer to that question is that using techniques to stay in the “now,” are what help us manage, tolerate, and get through those tough moments when the past triggers want start to be overwhelming or feel unmanageable. It is for this reason that I strongly encourage you to learn meditation techniques, practice yoga, tai-chi, or other forms of “moving meditation.” By doing so, you are better able to “sit” and feel grounded in those moments when trauma memories, triggers, or other overwhelming experiences show up. The lessons that Eckhart Tolle shares, for example, are right there to support you in your trauma work.

Nevertheless, one should also remember that “doing” your trauma work also involves accessing the more “reptilian” part of the brain that holds the trauma. That, quite honestly, is a very stubborn brain, one that knows “fight/flight/freeze” and just doesn’t “get” talk therapy or cognitive techniques. Perhaps you know somewhere who has been, despite years of therapy, working on their trauma history. Yet, they still feel stuck. That’s possibly because they were primarily accessing the “logical” part of the brain. But, the catch is that trauma just isn’t stored there. That’s why therapies like EMDR are helpful. EMDR works on that part of the brain where trauma lives, and cognitive techniques are challenged to access.

So, keep reading about how to get in the now. Learn those skills and use them. But, also stop judging yourself when the past traumas become present. You are fighting biology! Then, stop judging yourself for judging Yes, the past can be released, but it just has to be accessed in a different way. Consider the gift of combining both trauma therapy and skills to help you stay in the now, as you heal from the past.

“And when I counted up my demons,
Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders
I send the others ones away…
I know that everything’s not lost”

-Coldplay “Everything’s Not Lost”

I am a lover of music, lyrics, and the energy that sound creates in our inner core. I am always amazed by the power it has to move us, shift our energy, and change our inner experiences. There is always “that song” the one that always one that “reminds” you of a time in your life, lifts you, or changes you.

Ah, Coldplay. For me, this is a band that does just that. (Trust me, as you get more familiar you may get tired of my music quotes and references!) Anyway, this song, this quote, is one of those.

Let’s face it; to heal and grow we are forced to examine our inner demons. They show up in the outer world, to remind us that it must be done. We can try to ignore them, but then they just become more persistent, shape shift into different issues, and wait. You know how it is.

This quote is also a reminder, for me, that we forget that others, too, may be struggling in their own way. We forget that others around us are also, living this life that asks them to face their inner demons. They, too, are counting up their demons, having to send them away with the “good ones” that ask them to heal and grow. We can certainly choose to not work on what we need to, but once the “good ones,” that aspect of ourselves that knows what is best for us, asks us to, we have to make a decision. We have to decide whether we will head that call or just say, to be blunt, $^#$@ it. I don’t want to look at it. Of course, the decision not too, just makes one struggle more.

As the song, in its closing, lifts octave, it reflects the very essence of “singing out” when we grow, and move past those times when our inner demons once felt so overwhelming. The parts of us that want to heal, that may even bring you to therapy, are the very aspects of ourselves that help us face those demons.

The catch is, we have to listen to what those healing aspects of ourselves ask of us. At the same time, it may not always feel like good news. But, at least we are hearing our inner healer. For that, we are forever changed.

So, go check out that song. See if it resonates with you. If it does, great! If not, blog about songs or lyrics that do!

Sarah

Maybe you can relate to the “ahas” that came out of an experience I had this week.

Tuesday was not really a day that I foresaw throwing me any major “surprises.” It would be a mellow one, with little planned outside of my favorite yoga class. The universe, obviously, had a surprise in store. Of course, you don’t see surprises coming. That’s the point. “No one expects a Spanish Inquisition.” Random Monty Python reference there, sorry ‘bout that.

Anyway, I strolled into yoga class. (Okay, I was running a bit late. So, here’s the reality. I probably plowed through the door.) Nevertheless, I was grounded and ready for yoga with one of my “favorite” teachers, in a class that, certainly, stretches me beyond my mental and physical limits. The class was familiar, known, and one that I have a certain “attachment” to.

That was my first mistake.

When we have an attachment to what something “should” look, sound, or be like, ironically, it increases the likelihood of there being some kind of surprise in store. It is rare for something to be “just as we thought it would be.”

I bounced off of the heat in the room like I had run into solid brick wall. 100 degrees. Unbeknown to me, I had joined a heated class. And, despite, all of my constant comments about wanting to try it, I didn’t expect that moment, TO BE NOW!

Like a dear caught in headlights, I froze. (Not gracefully I’ll have you know.) The other practitioners, albeit part of a small class, “looked” the part. Iced water bottle in hand. Suitable thin clothing. Smiling. This all stood in obvious contrast to my long pants, tank top, and metal water bottle. “The look of horror on Sarah’s face, priceless.”

Two minutes until class starts and a decision had to be made, fast. Run like mad, or stay and face my fear of the unknown. But something in me told me to take the risk. It was worth it and I reveled in it.

My awareness, my “aha,” was that the decision to join the class was really about my willingness to “get out of my groove” and look at the opportunity that I was given through surprise. I had to actually do what I feared, to get the real surprise, the gift of the “aha” itself. I realized that the actual moment when I “dove in” was when I was forced to grow. It wasn’t the class itself. The class had nothing to do with it. My lesson came through the actual decision to stay. Let’s face it; surprise leaves room for growth, even if it is born out of reluctance.

We all have had to reach out of our comfort zone, do something risky, and swim through the deep uncertainly pool that it creates. And, ironically, it often means making a decision to find the right times to run or stay.

My ego wanted me to run because it thought I was unsafe. My ego perceived that I wouldn’t be able to handle the heat, that it would overwhelm me. Yet, my spirit, that part of me that knew what was best for me, begged to differ. I’m glad I listened. I hope you do too, whatever that risk that hits you like a “brick wall” when you open the door.

Oh, and a tip: Those water bottles may be good for the environment, but they burn your hands like %#@#% in 100 degree + heat ☺